


From Mars to Venus and Back

by Anika_Ann



Series: Wrapped Around Her Finger – Parent!Steve Rogers trilogy [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (sort of), Apologies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship (past), Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Parent Steve Rogers, Past Character Death, Reader-Insert, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Team as Family, single parent steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 20:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17649554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anika_Ann/pseuds/Anika_Ann
Summary: They say men are from Mars and women from Venus. Oh, Steve definitely feels like that’s true. Actually, it’s more like his daughter is from another universe entirely.-Steve just groaned into his palms, his dignity buried somewhere together with his self-confidence.“I used to think we had moments we understood each other, had a connection, but lately it’s just… it’s like she’s from another universe.”“She is, Steve. It’s called puberty.”





	From Mars to Venus and Back

**Author's Note:**

> Possible standalone, generally part of 'Melting Hearts' 'verse. Enjoy.

_"I wish mom was here instead of you! She would have let me!"_

The words were replaying in Steve’s head for the millionth time and yet they were still cutting into his heart as if she said them for the first time.

_‘I wish mom was here instead of you.’_

In moments like this… Steve wished you were more than ever. He was the lucky one to get some time to spend with their daughter, he was the one lucky enough to be alive, but sometimes… sometimes the dark thoughts overwhelmed him and he couldn’t see the appeal.

He missed you. God he missed you so badly, not just like a mother to his child – who was far from a child now, nearing her sweet sixteen – but as a friend, as a partner as… as a lover too. Heavy pit was settled in his stomach, his chest felt like in a vice. Sometimes he missed you so badly he could barely breathe.

It was exhausting to wear the façade – while there were moments he was genuinely happy, it seemed impossible not to feel the absence. Every time he felt the light of laugh and happiness wash over him, the longing followed soon enough. A silent wish you could be there with him to witness your daughter’s first steps, first school day, the day she controlled some of her power for the first time-

His fingertips traced your features in the picture unwittingly and he felt fresh tears roll down his cheeks, the loneliness washing over him like a tide wave, flooding his lungs and making his ribcage burn. You looked beautiful in the photo – your usually lean figure was just slightly affected, only making the delicious curves of your body stand out; perfected by the round belly Steve’s hands was lovingly covering with his palm, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to your temple.

The photo was an equivalent of joy and love – an empty promise of more delight coming. It had come; but no matter how much Steve cherished the chance to hold his daughter, he all too often couldn’t help the feeling that the blessing came with too high of a price. Your life. If he had known– if he had known from the moment you had announced him you were pregnant, that you would die, would he do anything differently? Would he willingly give up the miracle of another life, piece of him and you, growing under your heart? If he had known how many beautiful moments Grace would bring?

A loud knock stopped that train of thoughts and Steve quickly wiped away his tears, setting the photo aside, picture down.

“Yeah?”

Dammit, his voice sounded too hoarse. He cleared his throat in poor attempt to fix it.

He couldn’t supress the disappointment when the redhead woman appeared in the doorway instead of his daughter. He was secretly hoping Grace would come and… maybe even apologize for what she had said several hours ago.

But guess she wouldn’t, right? She had nothing to apologize for. It was how she felt. She meant it. She would prefer her mother to be alive, even if it would mean Steve himself wouldn’t be. It wasn’t a fair trade, but he would be a hypocrite if he claimed that this thought (or the thought of choosing between Grace and you) had never crossed his mind, no matter how ashamed he always felt after.

It was logical. Grace was a woman and especially lately, Steve sensed that a distance started growing between him and his daughter, he couldn’t replace or even _try_ to replace her mother and… and it hurt. But truth often did. He could only wonder whether he was being a decent father at least, for god’s sake.

“This better not be a self-pity I’m sensing, Rogers.”

Steve sighed, letting his head fall into his palms. No Grace meant no fixing things, but it also meant he didn’t necessarily need to pretend to be strong.

“Am I terrible father, Natasha?” he asked quietly and he could hear her sharp inhale before the door clicked behind her and she almost soundlessly moved to sit next to him on the bed.

“No,” she replied simply, her voice gentler than before.

It wasn’t enough to make him look up. Because of course she would say that. Natasha wasn’t known for using kinder gloves too often, bit she had tact. She could easily recognize a moment she needed to show her softer side, compassion, and when she needed to provide some tough love.

"You're doing an amazing job, Steve. Grace loves you."

Steve scoffed, but somehow, the noise came out more like a sob. "Yeah? If you would have heard her-"

"I think the whole Tower heard her."

Steve just groaned into his palms, his dignity buried somewhere together with his self-confidence.

"But you are doing great, Steve. I mean it,” she whispered, shortly squeezing his arm. There was a hint of a promise in her tone that actually caught Steve’s poor attention. He let his hands fall, slowly raising his gaze to her face. Her expression was soft as she reached into the pocket of her jeans. “And I have a prove."

Steve frowned as she lit up the screen, a one-sided conversation appearing. His lips parted.

**_Nat._ **

**_Aunt Natty, help, please._ **

**_I screwed up. I screwed up ROYALLY. I said the worst thing ever and I have no idea how to fix it._ **

**_Please, how do I apologize to dad?_ **

**_Please, Nat. He hates me now. I would swear I saw tears. I made dad CRY._ **

**_I know that he cries sometimes when I’m not looking, but he would never let me see. And now he couldn’t keep it together. I'm such an idiot and the worst daughter ever._ **

**_Please, help me fix it. Please, I don’t want him mad at me. I don’t want him to be sad. He doesn’t deserve that._ **

**_I can’t believe I hurt him like this. I’m so stupid._ **

**_Please, Nat._ **

"See? “ Natasha’s voice sounded from an indescribable distance, so, so far from Steve’s world that had shrank into a phone. His ribcage suddenly allowed him to breathe in properly. “You... you raised an observant woman capable of compassion, reflecting her own mistakes, loving and kind. And she's strong too, Steve. She's an amazing kid. But even amazing kids enter puberty and let’s be honest, we all say things when angry we regret later. Grace could not wish for a better father and she knows it damn well. She adores you."

“…it doesn’t change a thing about me being— I used to think we had moments we understood each other, had a connection, but lately it’s just… it’s like she’s from another universe.”

“She is, Steve. It’s called puberty.”

Steve didn’t laugh.

“Look, Steve… I know it’s hard to believe it sometimes, but you _are_ really good at this. Raising a child is… it’s incredibly difficult. Doing that as a single parent? Even harder. And raising a girl when you’re a man – _and_ she hits that stage of puberty? Just talk to Clint. He would love to complain about Lila. You’ll either laugh your ass off or you’ll cry, because you’ll see yourself in him so much,” she chuckled, a soft smile appearing on her lips.

“When you add the whole Captain America and Avengers things in the mix, and her powers… you’re a whole new kind of hero. It’s like everything that could have gone wrong, that could have make it harder for you, did. And here you are, your daughter regretting that she made you doubt yourself, because she loves you, Steve. And I think she believes that you are the best father ever.”

Steve was staring ahead, his mind a huge mess, but calming down. When Natasha listed it all like that… he had to admit the universe had not made it exactly easy for him in the first place. He could swear to God that he was trying his best and… Grace caring about him, hell, caring about his _feelings_ , it should have given him a reassurance that his efforts had not been completely wasted. But he was reluctant to allow himself to be calmed. To let the feeling sink in.

And even if Natasha was right, it still didn’t fill the empty place in his heart. But he couldn’t have everything he wanted, could he?

“Thank you, Natasha,” he mumbled absently, unable to meet her gaze. He could still see her compassionate smile in front of his eyes.

“You’ll believe me, Steve. And if not me, believe her.” She shot Grace a short text and caressed Steve’s arm. Steve forced a small smile. “I told her to just talk to you. I’m not sure how much time it will take her to woman up.”

“Not too long, I think. She’s after her mother.”

“Well, she’s after her father too, so she should be knocking any second,” Natasha joked lightly and let her lips brush over Steve’s forehead as if she was the parent here. “You’re not alone in this, Steve. Don’t forget that, _Otets_.”

\---

She entered his room with her eyes glassy, biting her bottom lip, nervous as hell. She looked as if she expected Steve to shout her out before she could even open her mouth to speak – which said something, alright, Steve wondered if he had ever given her the impression of him being capable of that.

She ended up sitting on her knees in front of him, looking up at him with her – _yours_ – sincere eyes, words spilling from her mouth, barely making a sense.

The message was very clear though:

_I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please, please forgive me._

Steve gulped, his heart swelling in his chest, his own tears threatening to spill. Maybe Natasha had been right? Grace did love him and he wasn’t such a terrible dad after all? One glance at his daughter kneeling in front of him gave him the answer. He tentatively, reached out, patting her hair lightly.

“Thank you, Grace. It… it means a lot, that apology,” he creaked and managed to break a little smile for her.

She smiled at him shyly as well, tears still in her eyes. She looked so much like you, that little broken smile full of regrets… she pressed her lips together when she couldn’t bear Steve’s gaze anymore and her eyes caught a glimpse of the photo turned the picture down next to him. She tilted her head, her hand automatically twitching its direction.

“Can I?” she whispered and Steve only nodded, letting her reach for the photo. Her breath hitched when she saw it, her eyes widening in awe. She couldn’t tear her gaze away. “How have I never seen this? It’s beautiful!”

Steve gave her a watery smile, a bit moved by the way she was looking at the photo; he wondered if he looked the same, his eyes full of awe and love. Grace’s lips were subtly parted as she raised her gaze. The lump in Steve’s throat only grew bigger.

“I… I kept it for myself. When— when I find it difficult to… reach you, I look at it, wondering what your mom would do.”

Grace bit her lip, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. “You both look so happy. I… I hate that I broke it. That I-“

“Hey, hey now, none of that, babygirl. You didn’t break anything. That’s not on you.”

“But-“

“Hush,” he shushed her in a teasing way, bringing a fake smile on her lips. “She always said you were her little miracle. _Ours._ She wasn’t wrong.”

“Dad, can I have a hug?” she sobbed, setting the picture down delicately, hoping he would give her the sweet protective embrace she just craved for.

“Since when do you need to ask?”

“Since I’m being a bitch.”

Steve couldn’t help but let out a huffed laugh, remembering only then that he needed to be the adult here. “Language, dear.”

“Sorry, dad.”

\---

They sat on the bed for hours, side by side, Grace resting her head against his shoulder. A content smile played on her lips as Steve kept telling stories about you; because she had asked him too. It looked like he would never run out of them and— and Grace loved the expression on his face when he talked about you. It was when he spoke in the softest voice, loving, and fond of every little memory. Even with the droplets of sadness soaking through.

“She would forgive you, you know,” Grace whispered, earning a curious gaze and confused frown.

“Forgive what?”

She bit her lip. She was entering dangerous territory here, but… she felt like she should.

“If you… if you let yourself to be happy.”

“I am happy, Grace,” he stated firmly and she could feel his body stiffen as he understood what she was talking about.

“…you know what I mean, dad. If… I would never want anyone to replace mom. _Ever_. Not even for you, but… it’s okay. She would want you to find someone to… to share everything with, to love again.”

“Grace…” he whispered, clearly wanting to distance himself from the topic, sighing.

“Sorry, I don’t— I can’t imagine what it’s like. It’s just… Aunt Wanda has Uncle Vis, Nat has Bruce, Tony has Pepper, Clint has Laura, Sam has Gina. Hell, even Bucky has a girl and you two are OTP for way too many people.”

Steve frowned harder. “What’s an OTP?”

“You’re so better off not knowing— no, wait, actually. It stands for One True Pairing. It’s a term used on the internet for a pair you’re a fan of, of whom you ultimately believe should be together, because they are perfect for each other, or would be. For me… it’s you and mom. Always. But lots of other relationships aside an OTP work too. And people are happy in them. You deserve to be happy, dad.”

Steve stared at her face for a while, speechless, his heart hammering in his chest. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And a memory of a conversation he and Matt Murdock had shared such a long time ago came to his mind.

_‘They grow up very fast…’_

“If I ignore few things, I cannot believe you said that. When did you become so smart?”

“Since I’m my father’s and my mother’s child,” she shot back, a little confident smirk on her lips.

“Sassy little lady,” he murmured, his arms sneaking around her shoulder to press her a bit tighter to his side. She reciprocated the hug fully. “Thank you, Grace. This permission means a lot too. It’s just… I don’t think I need it.”

“ _Everyone_ needs it. Even asexual people need it.”

Steve blinked, _slightly_ startled at his daughter saying the word ‘sex’, even as a part of another word. What did that mean anyway?

“I’m gonna pretend I know what that means. But you’re banned from the internet,” he announced seriously and Grace, the little rebellious traitor, just grinned,

“No, I’m not. And you’re only saying that, because I’m right.“

Steve sighed again, wishing to just leave the topic alone. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to… he missed a woman in his bed, but… he missed _you_. Always. Every night. And he didn’t want anyone else.

“I don’t need a woman, Grace. I… I still love your mom.”

“It’s been almost sixteen years, dad. You deserve to…” she hesitated, clearly swallowing several words and Steve didn’t even want to think about where her mind wandered, because… ugh. Nope. Not having this conversation with his daughter. _Ever._ Not about his own intimate life, no thank you, birds and bees had been enough of a traumatic experience. “…go on with your life.”

“I’m happy as I am. Now drop it and go to bed. You have school tomorrow.” He patted her arm, letting go of her.

Only to see her not moving an inch beside biting her lip.

“…can I sleep here?”

The question made him pause for several reasons, his eyebrows shooting almost to his hairline. What kind of a question was that?

“Aren’t you a bit old for that?”

The truth was, the main reason for Steve’s hesitation was that he didn’t know _he_ could handle that. It had been too long since someone slept beside him and no matter how much he hated cold bed without a presence of somebody else – _you –_ he got used to it. Grace had stopped sleeping in his bed several years ago, and even then it had been only when she had a terrible nightmare.

“I just… I just want to make sure you won’t leave,” Grace admitted, clearly ashamed as blood rushed to her cheeks, her gaze pinned to the floor.

Steve’s ribcage ached at the sight and at the fear she must have felt. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know that feeling…

“Oh, babygirl, I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured, pulling her into a hug once more.

“I know— I- know you wouldn’t leave on purpose, it’s just-“

Well, it looked like he needed to bite the bullet. Hell, he should be grateful. About an hour ago, he had thought his daughter hadn’t wanted to share a blood-bond with him, let alone a room.

“Yeah, yeah, you can sleep here, okay?”

“Thank you so much!” she yelped into his chest, squeezing him into a vice.

Steve blinked at the display of affection and ran his hand down her back gently.

 _Okay, maybe not so bad father after all,_ he guessed. It made him burst with pride and for a moment, he hoped you were watching this from above.

“You’re welcome, babygirl. I love you.”

“I love you too, dad.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, now here comes more fluff and angst :D


End file.
